The Misadventures of Judal
by jankitty13
Summary: My collection of drabbles involving Judal. They are not all connected, they are not all canon, and they are hilarious! Enjoy! Chapter 19: "Please start your engine." "Okay." "Now please pull out slowly-I said slowly!"
1. Judal's Modes

Inspired by a comic I saw while passing by. Believe me, I think this describes Judal perfectly. xD

I do not own Magi

* * *

If you ever want to meet the Black Magi, Judal, you better hope to meet him in his bored mode.

No, seriously, you'd want to meet him in bored mode.

Judal has two modes: bored and killer.

When he is in bored mode, he chases after anyone in the vicinity for sources of entertainment, however sick or tasteless it is. In situations like these, all you have to do is feed him a peach, distract him with boring, small talk, and make a quick getaway while he is distracted.

Make sure the peaches are very large, ripe, and juicy.

When Judal is in his killer mode, you will wish you had never existed. You will wish you had had practiced filial piety, paid pilgrimage, and strived for atonement.

Worse of all, you'll wish you had never glanced at Judal, much less crossed paths with him.

When he is in his killer mode, Judal will stop at nothing to destroy the surrounding areas. He will use all the powers he has at his disposal to destroy his target. He will ruthlessly hunt down his prey for all eternity. He will torture his prey just to hear their screams of anguish. He will do so with a smile.

And he will do them anywhere, anytime, discretion be damned.

So if you ever meet Judal, you better hope you meet him in bored mode.

Trust me, it's your best shot in life.

You have been forewarned.

[Judal-san, please don't kill me. Here, have a peach.]


	2. Judal's Peaches

So I was thinking about the one thing that one would use to blackmail Judal, and I ended coming up with this AU-piece.

It seems pretty funny to me, and I hope you guys find this funny too! :)

I do not own Magi at all.

* * *

"Kukukukuku!"

A mysterious dark-haired boy sat in front of a dimly lit computer screen, surrounded by nothing except moonlit darkness. He furiously tapped the keyboard keys, his extremely long, puffy braid swinging in sync with each click.

"That stupid Kouen…I'll get him for what he did to me. How dare he forbid Kougyoku and Kouha from playing with me! I'll show him…Kukukuku…!"

The screen flashed in the dark room.

A blue-lined box popped up.

"What th-? You need a voice-activated, two or three-syllable password to get into his files?! And in his voice?! That Kouen…" the boy muttered, clearly irritated. He cleared his throat and tried his best Kouen-imitated voice.

"Er-One world."

Nothing happened.

"Goatee."

Nothing happened.

"Power?"

Still nothing.

"War? Wait-that's one syllable!"

The computer sat waiting.

"…Kouen?"

Still nothing.

The boy got angry and started yelling.

"Koumei! Kouha! Kougyoku! Hakuyuu! Hakuren! Hakuei!"

The box disappeared.

The boy blinked. "Kouen's password is Hakuei? Seriously? Whatever-I'm in!" He leaned forward as numerous files started to pop up, eager to obtain whatever dirt he could get his hands on to destroy that evil creature known as-

"What are you doing in my room, Judal?"

-Kouen, who was standing right behind him in the doorway, casually leaning against the wall, as if he owned the place.

…which he did!

Judal was doomed.

* * *

"Let me get this straight: you broke into my house and hacked into my computer-just because I forbade Kouha and Kougyoku from spending time with you?" Kouen crossed his arm and looked at Judal critically. "Judal…that's low and very sad, even for you."

"SHUT UP, OLD MAN!" Judal was furious. Not only had he been stopped in his quest for much-needed blackmail, he had gotten caught and tied up by that hated-idiot, Kouen! It was _that_ humiliating.

Judal glowered at the older man.

Kouen sighed; he was getting really tired of this pointless war between him and Judal. "All right, how's this: I let you as much time as you want with my siblings so as long you don't entice them into doing anything dangerous, like setting the roof on fire or road-driving with your feet. Would that end all this?"

"No! You'll only find some other excuse to separate the three of us! I won't agree! Ever!"

Judal defiantly jutted his head upward.

Kouen sighed again. He really hadn't wanted to do this-but Judal had given him no choice. "Fine then: you will stay in this house, tied up and stuck in this room for three days…"

"Fine by me!"

"...with no peaches."

"WHAAATTT?! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! NO, KOUEN! COME BACK! NOOOO!"

* * *

Two hours later, Judal conceded defeat and accepted the terms. The pair never spoke of that night again.

* * *

I tossed in Kouen's password in to indulge my whim. Seemed to fit the situation. ;)

Anyway, please review?


	3. Judal's Hair

So I've created this series of drabbles involving Judal! My other Judal stories are also in here!

So just sit tight and Enjoy!

* * *

If there was anything Judal was ever proud of in his life, it was his hair.

Yes, it was his hair. Not his magic, not his status as a magi, certainly not his amount of king candidates.

It was his hair.

It was hair like no other. Soft as silk, coated with silken oil, braided with puffs of air, courtesy of the magicians of Al-Thamen's suggestion.

It was hair like no other.

It was his pride.

It was his pride, joy, happiness, (whatever you want to call it) in life.

So if someone were to cut his hair off, what would happen?

What indeed?

* * *

"Kouhanii-sama, what are you doing?"

" _Shh! Be quiet! I'm going to cut off Judal's braid."_

" _You're going to do_ what _?! You're going to cut off-"_

" _I said shush! That braid of his is way too long. He's never let me braid it before. He won't let me, no matter how many times I've asked. Well, he'll let me braid it after I-hmm? Why are you suddenly so quiet, Kougyoku?"_

"K-K-Kouhanii-sama, b-b-ehind y-"

"Just _who's_ braid are you going to cut off, Kouha? Old hag?"

"JUDAL?!"

"JUDAL-CHAN?!"

* * *

If there was anything Judal was ever proud of in his life, it was his hair.

It was his pride, joy, happiness, (whatever you want to call it) in life.

So if someone were to cut his hair off, what would happen?

What indeed?

Just ask Ren Kouha and Ren Kougyoku. They had to wear a hat for a year to hide their bald heads.

* * *

I'll upload more when I come up with them!

Until then, leave a review!


	4. Weakling Judal

Inspired by the Great Space Adventures of Judal and Alibaba!

I hope you enjoy~! :)

* * *

Everyone knows Magis are awesome.

Drop-dead awesome.

Ultimate-weapon-awesome.

I-can-kill-you-ten-times-over-and you-wouldn't-even-know-it-awesome.

You get the idea.

Naturally, Judal was no exception. In fact, he likes to think that among all four magis currently existing in the world, he was the strongest.

I mean, come on, he was the only one who could use Dark Rukh, he could create gigantic ice spears that could destroy even freaking Sindria's barrier, he could use Mogamett's magic and knowledge, and he had the entire force of Al-Thamen's magicians under his control!

Also, he had very beautiful hair.

So, naturally, Judal assumed there was nothing in the world that he could never destroy.

After all, he was the most powerful magi in the world, wasn't he?

So of course, it came as a bit of a nasty shock when he found, to his complete and utter horror, that without his power and status as a magi, he was, um, how to put it…

 _Weak._

Pathetic.

Weaker than a doll (cough _Alibaba_ cough).

Again, you get the idea.

You'd assume that, even without his unlimited powers as a magi, Judal would be able to take care of himself in any situation as an average magician.

Sadly, the Dark Continent has proven that, no, Judal cannot take care of himself even without his powers as a magi, and no, he couldn't even get his own _meal_ without help.

He was how old again? _20 years old?_

And he still couldn't feed his own mouth without help!

Not to mention he had no physical strength whatsoever. Which meant all those muscles and abs he had were just for show. (Well, he was a little on the thin side…)

So, as a magi, Judal is very strong. Deadly, even.

But without his powers, well…

He is weaker than a doll.

…

…

…

Andalltheothermagisintheworldplusthemagiciansandordinarypeople. (cough _Alibaba_ cough)


	5. Judal Made Me Do It!

Shameless rip-off from Hannah Montanah.

What can I say? I love making fun of Judal, honestly, he's so cute. :)

I don't own magi, nor do i own Hannah Montana.

* * *

"So, uh, why are we doing this again?"

"Shush, Judal! You're gonna alert the guards!"

It was almost midnight. There weren't many stars out yet. The moon was nearly full. Almost everyone was in bed, asleep, or about to be asleep. The pair that was talking should have been no exception to this.

Yet Ren Kouha was currently sneaking inside a building, dressed in black like a ninja prepared to do battle to death.

"Seriously, though, why are we doing this?" Judal complained again. He wanted to be in bed, happily dreaming about his beloved peaches fighting each other in a wrestling match before they were inevitably eaten by him (it was his favorite dream). Plus, it was too cold outside. Yet, somehow, Kouha managed to drag him into his ridiculous schemes, which required the two of them to dress in black (which, contrary to popular belief, was not his favorite color).

"I told you, Judal," Kouha lowered his voice, "we're gonna go on top of this building, break open this bottles of spray, and repaint that disgusting image that supposed to be me on that wall, and make a quick getaway!"

…why did he let Kouha talk him into this again?

Oh, wait, it was because he promised to buy him the most expensive peach liquor there was in the world.

"Finally!" Kouha spotted the door on the top floor. "I thought we'd never get there. Hi-yah!"

-BANG!-

He proceeded to kick the door open.

"…dude, what happened to not alerting the guards?"

"Hey, it's cooler this way. Now that…" Kouha scanned his surroundings until his sharp pink eyes landed onto his target: the infamous wall that depicted the unmentionable, horrifyingly picture of Ren Kouha... in a clown outfit.

"There it is! Now let's get right down to business!" Kouha started shaking his spray paint.

"Finally!" Judal grumbled while also shaking his can of spray paint. "Now let's get this over with so I can get my beloved peach-uh, I mean, sleep!"

* * *

Thirty minutes, the two had finished the job. Kouha stepped back to admire his handiwork, while Judal tried not to laugh.

What used to be a picture of Ren Kouha dressed in a clown outfit was now shocking: bright pink hair had turned into rose-red hair. The eyes were now coated a bright amber. The skin color was still pale, only now it seemed sickly pale, and covered with little bumps, especially around the face.

Kouha's face had been replaced by his older brother: Ren Koumei.

(What, did you think Kouha would simply improve the painting by changing the outfit? Ren Kouha does not tolerate such insults!)

"Now that's way better," Kouha spoke with deep satisfaction.

Judal futilely attempted at a bit of self-control. "Can't wait to see your brothers' faces in the morning!"

"That's actually pretty good work, you two."

Judal's smile slipped off in horrified realization

"Gee, thanks!" Kouha was pleased at the compliment. "Wow, that sounds a lot like what Brother En would say."

"There's a good reason for that." A pair of large hands firmly slapped down on both Kouha and Judal's shoulders and gripped them tightly. Kouha's heart stopped for a solid tree seconds before he managed to gain the courage to glance up at his captors face, praying it was not who he thought it was.

Alas, his prayers came to no heed. For staring right back at him with deep red eyes was Kouha's beloved older brother: the infamous Ren Kouen, who, for some reason, was also dressed in black. He did not seem happy.

"So tell me," Kouen's hands squeezed their shoulders, "who came up with this clever little plan?"

Kouha sighed in defeat, and glanced away from his brother. "I'm sorry, En-nii. All this…it was…"

Judal actually pitied Kouha: After all, it wasn't everyday he disappointed Kouen, and was caught in the act of doing so-

"Judal made me do it!"

"WHAT!"

Judal was furious; how dare Ren Kouha accuse him of something he did not do. It was all his idea in the first place!

Kouha blinked at Kouen's outfit. "En-nii, why do you have a paintbrush in your left pocket?" He pulled out said brush of out Kouen's left pocket, where it had been sticking out.

Kouen didn't even blink. "Judal made me do it!"

"WHAT!"

Why was everyone blaming him for their actions?! Was the world turning against him?

Why did he even listen to Kouha in the first place? He should have just gone to sleep. He could have been with his beloved dream peaches by now!

…Was he still getting that peach liquor?

* * *

I'll let you guys decide how Koumei reacted at the painting, and who even came up with it in the first place.

See you later, all!


	6. Judal-O-Lantern!

It's October, and I thought it would be really appropriate for Judal to do something really silly in October.

partially inspired by the _Amelia Rules!_ series, which I do no own at all.

Enjoy!

* * *

"My design's gonna be the best, guys!"

It was nearly that time of the month, where kids dressed in costumes, put on scary makeup and bugged their neighbor for some delicious sugary treats. Of course, before that day arrived, there were a lot of preparations to be done, one of which was the most anticipated…

"Your jack-o-lanterns can't beat mine!"

…carving pumpkins into jack-o-lanterns.

Kouha stopped boasting to look at his circle of friends, none of which had reacted to his taunts. "Guys, didn't you hear me?"

Judal grunted. "Yeah, we did, fluff ball-for the past 15 minutes, you've been saying the same thing over and over again. It's gotten annoying. _Really_ annoying."

Kouha pouted. "But my design _is_ the best-you just don't want to admit it!"

"How are we supposed to know what design is if you won't show it?" Alibaba demanded, annoyed at Kouha's arrogance.

"Y-yeah, Brother Kouha!" Kougyoku piped up with a hint of timidity. "Besides, who's to say your design is going to be the best? Mine might actually be better!"

" _Better?_ " Aladdin was offended. "Mine will be the best! Look!" he lifted up his pumpkin and showed it to everyone.

"…an eight-headed dragon, chibi? You call that scary?" Judal scoffed. "Where's your sense of horror?"

"It's better than hers!" Aladdin jabbed at Kougyoku's design; it displayed an elegant Eastern Dragon with water droplets surrounding it.

Kougyoku smiled proudly. "I'm calling her Vinea! She's the best design amongst everyone. You're just jealous 'cause my design's better than yours, brat!"

"You called it _Vinea_? What're gonna do, keep it? It'll rot away in just-"

"Well, I think my jack-o-lantern's is going to be great," Alibaba interrupted Alaadin's tirade, "it's going to be this!" He held up a piece of paper. On the paper was a weird looking doll who's head, for some reason, was shaped suspiciously like Alibaba's ahoge.

Judal repressed a smirk this time. "Sure, _that's_ going to scare everyone trick-or-treating at your place. Nice, Alibaba."

" _None_ of your ideas are great! They don't match up to MINE!" Kouhha lifted his pumpkin for emphasis. By the way, it was totally blank; no way was he going to get himself messy by carving the pumpkin-he was going to leave that to his attendants.

"Uh-huh." Judal had a doubtful look on his face. As did Alibaba. And Aladdin. Even his own sister did not believe him.

Kouha lowered his pumpkin and pouted. "…I wish Jinjin, Reirei, and Jujun were here. They'd agree with me," he muttered.

"What did you make, Morgiana?" Alibaba asked curiously.

Said girl looked up at Alibaba's voice, for she had been intensely focused on her work and paid little attention to the conversation. "This."

Everyone was suddenly silent. They kept on staring at Morgiana's work. No words could not express the horror they felt at her artwork, Alibaba especially.

"Um, Morg?" Aladdin hesitantly spoke up. "Maybe you should do another one, that one looks too scary for kids."

"Y-yes," Kougyoku agreed, not caring about the fact she had just agreed with _Aladdin_ , her sworn enemy. "I-I'll help you make a new one. Come on!" She beckoned towards Morgiana.

Morgiana blinked in confusion, but readily set down the pumpkin and went over to Kougyoku. As soon as her back was turned, Judal immediately grabbed the pumpkin and tossed it into a bush, while Kouha hid its exposed parts with autumn leaves.

Alibaba shuddered in horror. While he like Morgiana and tolerated her intense admiration for him, sometimes he had to admit she took it a bit too far.

Like carving a parody of The Scream… _with his own face and hair instead_.

Aladdin rushed to clear up the awkward air that had fallen amongst them. "What are you carving onto your pumpkin, Judal?'

Judal smirked; he had evidently been waiting for that question. "Why, only the most _scariest_ , the most _eviles_ t, the most _nightmarish_ creature to ever walk on the Earth! He gives birth to many fears, and destroys everything for the sake of satisfying his thirst…!" He lifted up the jack-o-lantern. "Behold!"

…

…

…

"HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAH!" Kouha was the first one to burst out laughing. Kougyoku tried hard to stifle her own giggles, but eventually could not contain them anymore; she joined in on her brother's laughter.

"Th-th-th-that looks just like him!" Alibaba managed to choke out with tears in his eyes.

"Uncle will be so mad when he sees this!" a worried Aladdin chimed in, though it was clear from his quivering mouth that he was also amused as well.

Morgiana also giggled at Judal's neve; who would have thought he had it in him?

Suddenly a shadow loomed over the group. Everyone stopped laugh and stilled all of the sudden. Everyone, that is, except for Judal, who kept on laughing, unaware of his imminent doom.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" An eerily quiet, calm voice rang out through the still, frigid air.

Judal's abruptly stopped laughing. He had recognized the voice too. Slowly, he creaked his head around until his bright red concentric eyes locked gaze with a pair of deep red eyes. " _-GULP! -_ H-hey, Kouen, what's up in life?" he managed to squeak out.

Kouen was not deterred by Judal's pathetic attempt at a diversion. In fact, he merely frowned down at Judal.

"You have a lot of potential for art, Judal. In fact, you have so much, that I find it a waste for you to waste your talent on pumpkins," he said softly.

Judal froze. "Eh?"

Koumei, who was standing behind Kouen, gave Judal a pitying look: it was clear he was in _big trouble_ now.

Kouen nodded. "Yes, your talent cannot be wasted here. You should funnel your artwork somewhere more worthwhile."

"Eh?" Judal repeated.

"You are going to work in my office-starting now." Kouen grabbed Judal's arm, pulled him to his feet, and proceeded to drag him away. Upon feeling his feet being lifted from the comfy ground, Judal immediately snapped out of his shock.

"Eh? W-wait, what? No! NO! Someone, anyone, please- HEEEEEEELLLLPPPPP MEEEEEeeeeee!" Judal's plea disappeared into the cold, thin air along with Kouen.

Koumei stayed behind with the rest of the group gaping at the events that had just unfurled. He covered his face with his fan, though his eyes kept twinkling in amusement, with only one thought coursing through his mind:

 _Trust Judal to draw a kokeshi doll face in the image of Brother Kouen's face on a jack-o-lantern._

* * *

Sometimes, I can't believe my own nerve to do things. XD

Poor Judal; who knows what Kouen plans to have him to in his room. But that's what you get for messing with Kouen, of all people.

And Kouha, don't boast about your design if you haven't done anything at all for fifteen minutes.

This chapter aside, I'm thinking of maybe doing a Halloween special if I've got the time. Of course, I have very little ideas about the would-be-special. So here's the deal:

If you guys want me to write a Halloween Special, post your ideas with your reviews. I'll check them out when i can, and I'll do whichever one seems the best. Don't worry, I'll remember to credit you. ;)

So until next time! And don't forget the reviews!


	7. A Christmas with Judal

Looking back, this isn't really centered around Judal. But then again, Judal is the reason so much trouble occurred to almost everyone in this drabble. :D

Here's the long-awaited Christmas special I promised! (It's extra-long too!)

I hope you enjoy this-and i hope you laugh a lot!

* * *

Christmas. Ah, what a time. A time of festivity and revel, a time of happiness and joy. Pine trees everywhere are decorated and wreaths are hung up. Candles are lit and songs fill the snow-laden air. Most think of it as a time of peace and harmony.

But not Judal.

For Judal thinks of it as a time of mischief and fun.

* * *

"Alibaba-kun! Mor-san!" Aladdin waved at his two friends. "Come and look at the gingerbread house! Isn't it pretty?"

Alibaba grinned at the house. "Yeah, it sure is." He blinked at the house and frowned. "Uh, why is half of it missing? And why does it look like it's been eaten?"

"No reason." Aladdin hurriedly wiped the crumbs from his mouth with a guilty swipe. "But it's really pretty, huh?"

"Uh, sure!" Alibaba repeated, confused at Aladdin's response. "Man, the decorations look awesome. And you should see the tree! I hear you and Yamraiha-san helped decorate it."

"We sure did! It was really fun! Mor-san and Masrur-san were the ones to pick the tree; I'm glad it was a really good one."

"It was nothing, Aladdin," Morgiana said, her cheeks puffed up with pride at Aladdin's words.

'Nothing' was an understatement. A huge one. Morgiana really did pick an awesome tree-in fact, she picked the biggest one she could find!

Wait, how big? Let's see…think of the largest animal you can think of (an elephant or giraffe). Now stack 10 of those animals on top of each other. String the stack up with lights and place a star at the very top of the stack.

That's an approximate size of the huge tree Morgiana and Masrur got. But we're getting off topic here. Where were we?

"The decorations are really nice, but…Aladdin…why are so many of the ornaments on the tree in the shape of angels?" Alibaba asked, sweatdropping.

"Oh, no reason." He told Yamu-san it was because Angels represented sainthood-but we all know that's not true. ;)

So the three were so intent on talking to one another that they did not notice a mysterious shadow near the far corner. A shadow that belonged to the notorious troublemaker that, for some reason, gets invited to every Christmas party even though, inevitably he causes chaos. Can you guess he that shadow belonged to? Yep, you guessed it.

* * *

"Kekekeke! This is going to be really fun." Judal purred as he hung up a little well-known plant with holly berries on the highest ceiling he could find in Sinbad's house. He smiled maniacally, his eyes dancing with mirth. "Let the fun begin."

* * *

"Spartos? Spartos! Spartos~!" SP~AR~TOS~!'

The scarlet-haired man groaned. "What do you want, Pisti?"

Pisti pouted. "Aww, why so mean, Spartos? Aren't we friends?"

"You never call for me unless you want something," Spartos pointed out.

"That's not true!" she denied immediately. "But I do need you to help me ask Yamraiha to dance with Sharrkan."

And there goes the purpose of her call. "Pisti, you know Yamraiha doesn't like Sharrkan-and that Sharrkan doesn't like _her_." As a matter of fact, the two always fought like cats and dogs whenever they were in the same room.

"Which is why we're going to trick them into doing so! I'll tell Yamraiha the Christmas tree is on fire, while you tell Sharrkan that someone wants to hear about his swordplay! They'll never suspect a thing!"

"Pisti, you're my friend. And I don't like to disappoint my friends. But I'm putting my foot down on this." Spartos was adamant about his decision to stay out of Pisti's matchmaking schemes.

"You're my friend, Spartos-so you're going to help me no matter what you say." Pisti was equally stubborn about roping Spartos into her matchmaking schemes.

"Pisti, no."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please!"

"No."

"Please-"

"No means no, Pisti!"

Pisti opened her mouth, presumably to plea again, but stopped when her eyes caught sight of a certain plant hanging right just above a certain scarlet-hared man. She started smirking, a devious plan forming in her brain. "If I manage to kiss you on the mouth under a mistletoe, then you have no choice but to help me with my plan."

Spartos wasn't sure he heard correctly. "What-" he was cut of by a certain type of mouth to mouth contact initiated by his blond friend. Too late, he realized what just happened-and, more importantly, what they were standing under.

Pisti broke off the lip lock and beamed at Spartos. "There! Now you've got no choice but to help me."

Spartos stared at Pisti in shock before his eyes rolled into the back of his head until the whites were seen; he fainted dead away.

"Hello? Spartos? Are you all right? I didn't kill you, did I?"

* * *

"Oh? Lord Kouen, what a surprise to see you here." Hakuei paused in the middle of admiring the chocolate fountain in the middle of the room to talk to her cousin. "I thought you hated Christmas parties-especially if they were thrown by the Sindria."

"I thought I might as well come along and see what exactly makes Sindria's parties so popular, especially at this time of the year," the red-haired man answered. He glanced around the room. "I must say, they do know how to throw a party."

"That's Sinbad for you," Hakuei paused to take a sip of her tea. (Yes, tea. Jafar confiscated all the alcohol aside from eggnog before the party started, to Sinbad's endless disappointment.) "The food is not bad, either."

"Where is your brother, Hakuei?" Kouen asked curiously.

"Hakuryuu? He went looking for his friends. Or maybe he was looking for Kougyoku? Those two tend to stick together after all."

"The brat and his sidekick are here?" Kouen raised his eyebrows. "Interesting. Where are they?"

"Lord Kouen, even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you. A party is a time for fun, not for information."

"I see," Kouen reluctantly backed down, looking disappointed. "You seem in higher spirits than usual today, Hakuei. Are you enjoying yourself?"

"But of course, Lord Kouen! This is the most fun I've had in a while. I can kick back and relax."

To Kouen's eyes, the joy on Hakuei's face made her seem even prettier than usual-and that made a rather silly thought cross into his head, particularly after he spotted our little green friend hanging from the ceiling. "Lady Hakuei…"

"Hm?" Hakuei looked up at Kouen's face, surprised; it had been many years since he had called her by that title. "Yes?"

"If I may, please allow me the honor of doing this." He leaned his head forward.

Hakuei's eyes widened. Was it just her or was Kouen's face getting closer to her face-more specifically, her lips? "L-Lord Kouen-"

"Hakuei…" He got even closer, to Hakuei's panic. "Please-"

"Aaannnnnd, here's Sinbad's all famous smoochy time!"

A purple-haired blur suddenly popped in between the couple and landed its face right into Kouen's goatee. "Hm? Oh, Ren Kouen, nice to shee you."

What just happened? Well, you all know how Sinbad tends to get drunk at any and all parties, right? And that while Jafar may have confiscated the alcohol, he didn't confiscate the eggnog. 'Course the eggnog was non-alcoholic, but that's not the point.

What mattered was that Sinbad was drunk. _Off of eggnog._ And being the drunken man he was, he decided to kiss the first pretty lady he saw. Which happened to be Hakuei- _under a mistletoe._

So he lumbered over to the raven-haired girl with the intent to do something that could have potentially destroyed Sindria for good with the threat of war. What stopped him?

Kouen. And him tripping over his own two feet. (How did that happened. Well, he was drunk. And drunken people do stupid things.)

So he tripped over his two feet. And what did his lips land on. Not a pretty raven-haired girl's lips or even her cheeks. Nope.

 _His lips landed on a certain red-haired man's beard._

Now we all know how much Kouen valued his beard. Heck, most people would rather commit suicide than tell Kouen what they really thought about his wonderful (cough _terrible_ cough) beard.

So what happens when a drunken man's gross lips dare touch his precious goatee?

"Hakuei, do you mind waiting here just a few minutes? Lord Sinbad and I are going to have a little chat."

* * *

"Should I be glad Lord Sinbad intervened when he did? I do feel sorry for him, but I'm glad nothing happened to me at all."

* * *

"Sin? Sin! Sin, where are you?" A certain pale-skinned man looked around the room for the irresponsible man he had the misfortune of calling a friend. "That Sin…he better not be causing trouble. If he is…" With a murderous glint in his eyes that miraculously went unnoticed by everyone else, he took out his darts. "I'll make him regret the day he first started drinking!"

* * *

"Sooo…" Yamraiha drawled as she glared at the man in front of her. "I'm guessing Pisti called you down here?"

The tanned-man scoffed. "Hardly. It was actually Spartos-though for some reason he looked a little red in the face. Maybe he caught a cold?"

Yamraiha doubted it. Spartos rarely caught colds. She could only come up with one explanation: it was Pisti's fault, as usual.

"So what does Pisti want with us, anyway?" Sharrkan wondered, confused.

Yamraiha rolled her eyes. 'Probably something stupid like-"

"AND NOW, IT'S TIME FOR THE CHRISTMAS DANCE! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, COME ON DOWN TO THE STAGE! DANCE YOUR HEARTS OUT!"

"-like us dancing in the Christmas dance?" Sharrkan finished for Yamraiha. "What the heck is that girl thinking? I don't dance. I, like, never dance."

"Which goes to show why you're so unpopular with girls," Yamraiha muttered. Unfortunately, Sharrkan caught her mumble.

"What did you say?! Why you-That's it, we're doing this thing!" he grabbed Yamraiha's arm.

"Wh-Hey, Sharrkan!"

Before she knew it, they were standing on the dance stage, smack right in the center. Heck, even the spotlight was shining down on them.

Sharrkan put his right hand on the small of Yamraiha's back and, gently, lifted her right arm with his left hand, entwining their fingers. He started swaying to the music, "Silent Night", forcing Yamraiha to follow his lead.  
"Huh. So you _can_ dance."

"Never said I couldn't."

Yamraiha found her body moving on its own will. She couldn't help but admit that she was enjoying the dance-maybe a little too much. It didn't help that Sharrkan was starting to look weirdly attractive to her…

Sharrkan was thinking along the same lines as her. And, to top it off, they had waltzed right underneath a certain plant. Not to mention that he had always had a thing for Yamraiha (not that he would admit it). So he decided to take advantage of the good mood between them and made a (not really) shocking move:

He kissed her. Full on the lips.

Yamraiha froze in shock. Her (not really) hated enemy was kissing her-and it was her first kiss to boot! But Sharrkan's lips were surprisingly soft…

When they finally separated, Yamraiha was torn between punching him in the face and kissing him again. Instead, all she managed was, "Wh-what did you…?"

Sharrkan wanted to coo at Yamraiha's face (which, in his opinion, turned into the most adorable shade of pink) but he had his pride and reputation at stake. So he said the stupidest thing he ever said in his life:

"It was the mistletoe."

* * *

"Why is Sharrkan on the floor? And why is he so beat up?"

* * *

"This is fun, isn't it, Morgiana?" Alibaba took a break from chewing on his chicken drumstick.

Morgiana nodded. "Yes. It is, Alibaba-san." Her face remained stoic, but her eyes had a cheerful glint in them.

Alibaba frowned at her tone. "Hey, it's a party. Try to liven up a little."

"I'll try, Alibaba-san," Morgiana apologized.

"Not _try_. _Will_. You _will_ have fun in this party."

"Understood, Alibaba-san."

Alibaba wanted to smack his hand against his head. It was nice that Morgiana liked him (maybe even adoring him), but it was annoying how she (seemingly) remained sober in situations meant for fun-like, say, the Christmas party that was happening around them.

Then again, if he managed to find a way to convince Morgiana to have fun…

"Hey, Morgiana, do you know of this? If you kiss someone under the mistletoe during Christmas, you will always know how that person feels no matter what?"*

Morgiana ears perked up. "Really?"

"Yeah! And you always be with that person even if you're really far away!"

Her eyes sparkled. "I see."

Alibaba smirked. _Now we're getting somewhere._ "Do you want to try it, Morgiana? If you do, promise me that afterwards, you will try to have more fun here?"

Morgiana nodded unhesitatingly. "Yes!"

"Okay then." Alibaba leaned forward. "Just so you know, we're already standing under a mistletoe," he whispered conspiratorially.

Morgiana's eyes widen. She puffed out her cheeks. _Cute._ Alibaba so was not going to miss this opportunity to get a kiss from a really cute girl-

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

Just as Alibaba leaned towards Morgiana's lips, a dark blue blur suddenly tackled him and knocked him into the ground.

"Like I'll let you touch Morgiana-dono's lips, pervert!"

Alibaba blinked at the intruder. "What th-? _Hakuryuu?_ "

Hakuryuu continued berating Alibaba. "You've got no right to take her lips, you filthy devil!"

Wait a sec, was he _crying_?

"Hakuryuu- _are you drunk_?"

"No I'm not!" he denied heatedly.

 _Oh, yes he was._ "How much eggnog did you have?" Alibaba gaped.

"That's none of your business! If anyone's kissing her, it's m-"

"Mor-san, look-a mistletoe!"

"Yes it is, Aladdin. Would you like a kiss?"

"Sure!"

Both boys spun their heads around so fast to the point of getting whiplash just in time to see Morgiana lean down and plant her lips against Aladdin's soft cheek.

"Morgiana-dono's lips-!"

"Morgiana's kiss-!"

Both boys cried out in dismay.

Aladdin grinned obliviously.

* * *

"Aah, that was a job well done! Now, to celebrate, I think I'll have a bit of my own fun. Where could that old hag be? Oh, hag~! Come out, come out wherever you are~!"

"The old hag" did not show up.

"Hey, you. Have you seen someone with a long loopy hairstyle and a stupid grin?" Judal asked a random stranger passing by.

"Do you mean Kougyoku? I heard she got drunk off of eggnog and had to be taken home by her attendant." The stranger disappeared into the party, paying no heed to Judal's blank face.

"The old hag's gone home already?! That's stupid, who gets drunk off of eggnog anyway?!" Judal was very annoyed and looked ready to throw a tantrum and ruin the party-like he always did every year.

"Oh? Mister, are you all right?"

Judal stiffened for one moment before realizing it was a woman's voice. A _soft_ woman's voice. It was just what he needed! A kiss with a pretty lady to sooth his temper. He turned to the lady with a smile on his face. "Yes, I'm all righ-" the words died on his lips as he stared at the woman's face.

"My name is Elizabeth."

Judal froze, his mouth wide open in horror. His concentric red eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, though he wouldn't have minded that this time around.

"Oh, what's this?" Elizabeth glanced upward. "Oh, mistletoe. What a lovely surprise." She glanced back down towards Judal. "I wouldn't mind having a little smooch."

Too late, Judal realized what was happening-and that he could not escape. He backed off slowly, but failed to evade Elizabeth's tight grip around his waist.

"N-n-, no, no, nononoNoNoNONONOOOO!"

His scream echoed throughout the night.

* * *

At least it didn't scare Santa Claus away.

* * *

Bonus:

"Man, that was some party last night, huh?" Alibaba yawned. He couldn't really remember what had happened the night before. It was all a blur to him, so he couldn't really remember why he had woken up with red eyes in the morning. (They'd disappeared as the day went on.)

"Yeah, I had a lot of fun!" Aladdin agreed with Alibaba happily.

Morgiana smiled. "Me too. I can tell you were really happy, Aladdin."

"I honestly can't wait for next year's party. I'm looking forward to it! Do you think it will be like this year's-?" Alibaba broke off as he stared straight ahead. Squinting, he asked, "Is that Judal?"

It was indeed Judal. Only, he was now riddled with bloody kiss marks all over his face. His body was covered with black and blue bruises. His normally silky hair was askew, with clumps of it torn out. His eyes were even more bloodshot than usual.

Judal looked like a walking zombie.

"Dude-what happened to you?"

Judal gazed at them for three full minutes before his eyes rolled back and he fell face first into the white snow.

"Judal? Are you all right?! Judal!"

* * *

*Just so you know, I made this up. ;)

Coming up will be a New Year's special! Hopefully i can get it done before the New Year.

Until then, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone!


	8. Happy New Year, Judal!

Here's the New Year drabble you've all been waiting for!

Posting this in advance of New Year's Eve.

Enjoy!

* * *

Anyone ever heard of the King's Game?

You know, that game where you all have to randomly pick out sticks that are labeled with numbers? The one who has a stick with a king symbol on it?

The one that makes the "King" of the game have absolute control over the numbers, who must obey every one of the "King's" absolute command? That one?

Sound familiar?

If not, then you're lucky-you've never been subject to its torturous ways. If it is, then well, I'm sure you can guess what happens when the role of "King" falls into the hands of a sadistic, maniacal person.

Like, say, a certain black magi who lives in Kou Empire.

* * *

Alibaba looked at the darkening sky wistfully. "Man, I can't believe the year is ending already."

Aladdin nodded in agreement with Alibaba. "Time just passes by so fast. It seems like yesterday when we first met. It seems unreal the year ends tomorrow."

"So much has happened since then, huh?" Alibaba grinned in reminiscence. "We all had our ups and downs this year, but we managed to pull through somehow." He frowned as a sudden though struck. "I kind of want to end this year on a good note with everybody. But how do we do that…?"

"Did someone call for me?" A mischievous voice piqued up next to Alibaba's right shoulder.

Alibaba may have leaped a few feet into the air. "Judal! What are you doing here?"

Judal pouted. "You called for me."

"Uh, no, we didn't."

"You said you wanted to end this year on a good note with everybody, but you didn't know how."

"How does that equate to calling for you?!"

"I know a good way to end the year and prepare for the New Year." Judal cut into the beginning of Alibaba's tirade. "It's really fun-and it's a good way of determining the strong."

"Determining the strong? Wait, that's not what I-"

"So it's been decided!" Judal interrupts Alibaba again. "We're going to play the King's Game tomorrow at the Kou empire! You better be prepared to lose!" with that, Judal scampered off, with a few cackles of "Kehehe!"

Alibaba stared at Judal's retreating back for a few minutes before he turned to gaze at Aladdin. "I-he-what just happened?!"

Aladdin gazed back at Alibaba, equally bewildered. "I don't know."

* * *

"Thank you, everyone, for arriving to play the King's Game at this time of the year. I just know we're going to have fun!" Judal was moving past gleeful to bordering on ecstatic.

If you looked closely, you might have even seen a dog's tail wagging.

"…we had no choice, Judal." Sinbad deadpanned. "I only came because you threatened to destroy Sindria's barrier if I didn't come."

Titus nodded in agreement. "This better be short. Sphintus and Marga are waiting for me to light fireworks."

"This better not be one of your little schemes, Judal." Koumei's pink eyes peered out from behind his fan. "We have better things to do."

Kouen said nothing. But his eyes held a wary glint in them.

Muu smiled cheerily. "Now, now-who knows, this might actually be fun!"

Both Alibaba and Aladdin stared at Muu in disbelief.

Kouha appeared to be the only one excited.

"Okay, so here's what we're doing: we're going top play a game called the King's Game. The rules are simple-each of the sticks in this little can here (he shook the can) is numbered. One of the sticks, however, has a crown symbol on it. Whoever gets the crown stick becomes King, and is allowed to order the numbers into doing whatever the King wants. It's a game of whims!"

"…" Everyone stared at Judal. No wonder he wanted to play this game so much-it was like his birthday party come early!

"Judal, there are twelve sticks in here." Alibaba noted.

"So?"

"We only have ten people. _Ten._ What are the other two sticks for?"

"For fun!"

 _How is that for fun?_

"Whatever. Let's get this over with." Kouha reached over and pulled a stick. The rest was quick to follow suit.

"Who's King?"

Alibaba quickly glanced at his stick in hope. No such luck, he had a ten.

"Aladdin, are you King?" Please let it be Aladdin.

But Aladdin shook his head. "Nope, I got 2."

Alibaba glanced at the others in the circle. Was it Hakuryuu? Hakuryuu's a nice guy, he can take him. Or was it Koumei? That guy can barely throw a punch, let alone a dare. Or maybe Muu-he's not the sadistic type.

Please don't let it be Kouha. Or Kouen. Especially not-

"I'm King!"

Alibaba swore blood drained right out of his mouth as he gazed at the one and only Judal triumphantly holding up a stick with the gleaming crown symbol on it. Everyone gazed at Judal with a similar expression on his face. After all, if there was one thing everyone agreed on, it was that Judal had the undisputable title of being the-

"Number 6 and Number 10, I dare you to hug each other while you are both shirtless for ten minutes!"

Alibaba's mouth went dry. He was Number 10. But who was Number 6?

"I'm going to kill you for this later, Judal!" Kouha growled while he pulled off his shirt and stood up. "Oi, which one of you is Number 10?"

-of being the Sadistic King.

* * *

"Who's King?"

"I am!" Judal gleefully lifted up the stick again. "Number 2, cluck like a chicken while dressed as Sindrian dancers!"

Muu stood up, glared at Judal and immediately asked Sinbad, "Can you help me get dressed?"

* * *

Alibaba resisted from using Amon to burn his eyes out.

* * *

"Who's King?"

"Me!" Judal's eyes glinted mischievously. "Number 7, find the first cat you see, grab it, and bring it back here, all while calling it the person you love most and kissing it!"

* * *

Titus had to get medical help from Sphintus to treat the cat scratches on his face afterwards, all while muttering, "Marga" with a traumatized expression on his face.

* * *

"Who's King?"

"Me." To Alibaba's relief, the king stick was not in Judal's hands this time.

Nope, it was in Hakuryuu's hand. Which was a relief, since Hakuryuu's a pretty nice guy. Alibaba's confident that he wouldn't do anything extreme-

"Number 4 and Number 3, strip off your pants and have Number 11 paint your face into cats." Hakuryuu calmly relayed his command.

 _Say what?!_

Well, Alibaba wasn't any of those Numbers. But he knew Aladdin was Number 11. So who's face was he gonna paint?

"Hakuryuu-kun, please tell me you are joking." Sinbad's smile looked like it was going to break his face any minute now. "Come on, I won't do anything to you. Please tell it's a joke."

"Apologies, Sinbad-dono, but it was not a joke. Now please proceed with the command."

"Ppfft!" Judal bent over, laughing. "Haha! Ha! Didn't think you had it in you, Hakuryuu!"

"I was actually aiming at you, Judal, but I guess that was pretty obvious." Hakuryuu coolly retorted.

 _As if it was obvious!_

* * *

Needless to say, both Sinbad and Kouen made sure to gather all the cameras and destroyed them when the game was over.

* * *

Judal had to be cheating. Alibaba was certain of it.

Otherwise, how else would he keep becoming King almost every single time?

It was a nightmare. Aside from that one time Hakuryuu became King, Judal kept coming up with more and more shameful acts.

For one thing, he made Hakuryuu go outside and kiss the first girl he saw.

Judging by the bruises and kiss marks all over his face and body, Alibaba judged the unlucky girl to be either very strong or a really bad kisser. ( _Elizabeth, anyone?_ )

Then Judal went and actually ordered Koumei, nice, lazy, unenthusiastic, pigeon-loving Koumei, to go out and eat some pigeon.

Alibaba honestly didn't believe he'd ever seen such a hateful expression on Koumei's face before.

And that was only the start! There were more dares, and they were more shameful, but Alibaba didn't want to think about them.

If he did, he was sure he would vomit.

"All right, gang, we can't let Judal keep doing this. At this rate, we won't even have a reputation to keep. We have to stop him." Sinbad gathered everyone around to conspire on stopping Judal from making them commit more shame. He didn't have with convincing everyone to do so; they were all ready to kill Judal.

"Yeah, but how? He keeps on being King every single darn time?" Kouha pointed out.

"If only there was a way for one of us to become King. Then we just need to know what number Judal is…" Kouen mused.

"I can do it." Everyone swiveled his head around to look at Aladdin. "I can use gravity magic to pull the King stick into my hand. Then I'll just use telepathy to see what number Judal has. It 's probably the same way he's been playing the game."

"Are you sure, Aladdin?" Alibaba asks. "You don't have to do this."

Aladdin nodded. "I have to. Judal's gone too far. He needs to be stopped."

Everyone agrees-that's their game plan.

* * *

Poor Judal- he had no idea everyone's out for blood.

Specifically, his blood.

* * *

"All right, this here's going to be the last round!" Judal cackled. "Let's go, guys-let's end the year with fun!"

Alibaba glanced at Aladdin, who nodded back at him: it was time.

They all convened on the can holding the sticks.

"Who's King?"

"I am!" Aladdin held up the stick. Judal pouted, but wiped it off quickly. What was the chibi going to do?

Aladdin took a deep breath and shouted:

"All Numbers except Number 5, throw as many snowballs at Number 5 until he is covered in snow!"

Judal cackled again. "Wow, chibi! That's actually a pretty good one! Wherever did you…" he trailed off upon seeing everyone staring at him. Was it his imagination, or were their expression bordering on murderous?

Judal looked down at his stick in horror, realizing what stick he had just drawn.

 _Number 5._

He gulped and looked up at the group-wait, was there a pile of snowballs there before?

"Hey, guys!" Judal started backing towards the door slowly. "Y'know, you really don't need to do this. It's just a bunch of fun, right?" he laughed nervously. "Right?"

"Sindrian dress." Muu muttered as he prepared to throw a ginormous snowball at Judal.

"Cat kissing." Titus had an unusually blank expression in his eyes.

"Face. Paint." Sinbad casually bounced a snowball in his hand.

Kouen said nothing, but his gleaming eyes said it all.

"Hugging shirtless." Kouha's usual bloodthirsty expression on his face bordered on murderous.

"…" Hakuryuu's light blue eyes shone with an unrepentant glint.

Koumei miraculously produced a snowball out of nowhere.

Alibaba kept adding to the pile.

Aladdin had a dark look on his face. "You've taken things too far, Judal. You have to pay."

They lifted their snowballs in sync. "Die, Judal!"

Judal did what any sane, doomed-to-be-killed-by-a-bunch-of snowballs-by-what-could-have-been-his-friends man would do.

He ran for the door, snowballs pelted after his wake.

* * *

To be honest, I don't know if I got the rules down correctly, I've never played the game myself. But I hope you guys really enjoyed this!

Also, I've recently set up a poll in my profile. It's about which of my fanfics you like the most. It's just for fun, so you don't really have to answer. But it'd be nice if you did.

Until 2016, everyone!


	9. Happy Valentine's day, Judal!

Happy (early) Valentine's Day! And Happy Chinese New Year for those that celebrate it (yours truly included)!

* * *

Normally, Judal hated Valentine's Day.

He hated the sweets.

He hated the chocolate.

He hated that there were no peaches involved.

He hated the sickly sweet atmosphere that enveloped everyone very year.

He hated-well you get the idea.

Bu this year was different. Why, you ask?

Well, let's just say, Judal plans to ruin the holiday for everyone he meets.

With a little help from Ren Hakuei (and Scheherazade). Unknowingly, of course.

* * *

Alibaba was looking forward to Valentine's Day. Why, you ask?

Well, think about it: he's not very popular, right? He gets ignored whenever it's his time to shine. He rarely gets fans. Nobody ever stops to pay attention to his poses. So, naturally, every Valentine, he gets little to no chocolates.

But this year would be different. This year, Albaba Saluja was determined to get as many chocolates as possible. His popularity had grown exponentially this year, and he had quite a lot of lady fans.

By lady fans, I mean Morgiana, Kougyoku, and Toto-all three were very close to him, and were definitely going to give him chocolate this year.

This is going to be the best Valentine's Day ever!

"Hey, Alibaba!"

Okay, that definitely wasn't a woman's voice. It didn't even sound remotely feminine! Turning around, Alibaba's yellow eyes made eye contact with Judal's red eyes. "Oh, it's you, Judal."

"Hey, why so disappointed? What were you expecting, a girl handing out love-letters?" He cackled. "Anyway, I got you a little something today-a token of my appreciation!" he held them out.

"…Judal, these are chocolates. _Homemade_ chocalates. What, are you secretly confessing your love for me?"

"Nah, like I said, it's just a token of my appreciation. So are you going to take them or not?"

If it had been any other day, Alibaba would have noticed the hint of malice in Judal's smile and would have said no.

But it wasn't, so he said, "Sure," and took the chocolates.

"Great! Hope you enjoy them!" Judal spun around and turned to leave.

Alibaba sighed and looked at the pile of chocolates. Judal sure had given him a lot. Maybe he should try one of them. Especially sine Toto, Morgiana, and Kougyoku hadn't stopped by to give him any chocalte yet. (Maybe they were late?)

He scooped up one of the chocolates, unwrapped it, and popped it into his mouth. "Mm, this tastes better than I thought it would!" he swallowed. "For a moment, I thought it would taste really bad-"

 _GURGLE!_

His stomach started gurgling all of the sudden! Alibaba bent down, doubled over in pain at his stomach's sudden crankiness. "Ugh, my stomach-! The pain-!"

He had developed a sudden urge and need to go to the bathroom right away.

He realized what just happened midway to hobbling to the bathroom.

"DAMN YOU, JUDAL!"

* * *

Sinbad walked around his room leisurely. Yes, you heard me correctly-his room.

Why wasn't he outside on this beautiful, lovely day? Because even the Lady Killer of the Seven seas wasn't stupid enough to walk outside his house only to get killed by a bunch of ladies eager to mouth feed him chocolate.

I mean, the chocolate could poisonous! (Well, it _was_ that day, so…)

"You, stupid king!"

Sinbad spun around as Judal's head popped up from the window. The window on the third floor, mind you. (Well, he _can_ fly, so…)

"Judal! What are you doing in my-"

"I came here to give you your Valentine gift!"

…Come again? Did Judal say what he thought he heard him say?

"Here." Judal held out a bag. Surprisingly, the bag was adorned with a ribbon.

"…" Sinbad glanced up suspiciously. "How do I know that they're not poisonous?"

"The small fry already checked." Jafar did? Well, if Jafar found them okay…Sinbad untied the bad and popped one into his mouth. He was so intent on chewing it he didn't notice Judal leaving through the window. "Huh. Not bad." He popped in three more. "Seriously, this is actually, pretty good! Judal, for once, I think you-" He paused mid-chew. "Wait, is my voice supposed to be high-pitched? And am I getting smaller? I feel off-balanced somehow…" He looked down at himself in horror.

"What? M-my chest. My CHEST!"

I think you can all guess what just happened*.

"CURSE YOU, JUDAL!"

* * *

"Brother En, I believe it is time for you to get out." Ren Koumei stood outside of his brother's office.

"Never." Kouen's reply was firm-he wasn't getting out under any circumstances.

"Our brother, Kouha is out there. Even young Hakuryuu is outside today."

"That's because they are in no danger of dying today."

"dying? By what, may I ask? Our sisters' cooking?" Koumei smirked. He knew exactly how loved Kouen was in their family and society. Which was exactly why he was hiding in his room today; as, insipid as he was, he was usually the first in the family to get chocolates (never mind the fact he never got as much as Kouha.)

"I mean to avoid a certain lady today. Lovely as she is, her cooking is horribly atrocious."

"Oh, I'm sure Hakuei's cooking isn't that bad." Koumei was positively smiling now.

The door to the office opened slightly, and Kouen's red eye glared out at Koumei. "Just because you get no chocolates every year doesn't mean that you get to look down on me, Koumei."

"Mm." Koumei refused to stop smiling. "Oh, that's right, brother En, you have a guest." He stepped aside, revealing Judal, who was grinning cheekily and waving at Kouen's door.

"Yo!"

Kouen groaned. "What do you want, Judal?"

"Whoa, what's with that tone, Kouen? Aren't we friends? To think, I even stopped by to share these homemade chocolates I got."

"…" Kouen poked his head out of the door. Wary, he asked, "Is this a trick?"

"Hey, if this was a trick, would I just hand these over to you in person? 'Course it's not a trick."

"…Fair enough."

Kouen extended his hand, his palm facing up. Judal leaned forward and dropped the bag into Kouen's palm. "Here ya go! Enjoy!"

Kouen sighed. He loosened the ribbon, opened the bag, and grabbed the smallest chocolate there was inside. Opening his mouth to put the chocolate inside, he asked:

"Who made these, incidentally?"

"Why, your cousin, Hakuei, of course."

Kouen froze in horror, his face tuning into the telltale green color-his traitorous mouth had already swallowed the chocolate. "Y-you-Hakuei's-"

He covered his mouth and ran off to search for the nearest bathroom.

Koumei walked right behind him, still smirking.

* * *

"Captain! Your sister is looking for you!"

"Tell her I'm not here!"

"Lady Scherazade is also looking for you!"

"Make up a lie!"

Muu Alexius was currently stuck in a dilemma. A life or death dilemma, to be exact.

Here's the dilemma: Muu really loves both his little sister, Myron, and his superior, Scheherazade.

But his love wasn't enough for him to stomach their extremely horrible cooking.

Now you all know what day it was. Muu knew exactly what day it was too.

It was Valentine's Day. That accursed day where girls hand chocolates to their loved ones.

Myron and Schererazade both really love Valentine's Day. In fact, they love it so much, every year, they make a ton of chocolate to hand out.

Guess who always got first taste.

"Captain! You have a present from someone."

"A present? From whom?"

"Dunno, doesn't say." Muu's underling handed him a box wrapped in red paper, complete with a bow on top. Curious, Muu took the box and cautiously unwrapped the box. He knew that the paper was an expensive high quality, and guessed what it meant.

"Chocolate from a noble woman? Well, not eating it would send a bad message."

Given that it was chocolate from a noblewoman, it obviously couldn't be homemade. Most likely, it was bought from one of those candy stores that sold things at an incredibly cheap price on Valentine's Day. So they shouldn't be any problems eating it.

With this thought in mind, Muu opened the box (ignoring the slip of paper that fell out) and took the biggest, most exquisite looking piece of chocolate there was, and bit into it. "Huh…funny, this tastes a little familiar…" His eyes then fell onto the piece of paper that slipped out of the box.

 _Enjoy the chocolates of Scheherazade, sucker!_

Muu's stomach dropped. Then he actually dropped down onto the floor, his mouth foaming.

He fainted.

"Captain? All you all right?! Captain!"

* * *

"Ahhh, now that is what I call a lovely day!" Judal stretched his arms. "Man, that was so much fun!"

He strutted home with a cocky grin on his face. "I just need something special to wrap up this day." He paused in front of his door, having sptted something on the doormat of his house. "Oh? What's this?"

Judal picked up the package and weighed. "Huh, it's so light. Wonder what it is?" he spotted a note on top of the package, scrawled in a familiar handwriting:

 _To Judal: have a taste of my homemade chocaltes. From: Hakuryuu._

"Don't mind if I do!" Judal tore up the wrapping, ripped open the box, and started stuffing the chocolates into his mouth. (Hakuryuu's chocolates were _that_ delicious.)

"Mmm, these are great! Trust Hakuryuu to make really good cho-wait am I growing taller? And is the ground floating away from me?" And did his face feel stretchy?

Judal felt up his face-it had turned strangely lumpy. No, not lumpy- _puffy_. His body was starting to blow up.

Judal was turning into a human balloon.

"Wh-why-how is this-what's going on?!" His landed onto the torn open box, where an additional message was scrawled on:

 _You really think this was from me? It's actually from my sister. Enjoy the chocolates, sucker!-Hakuryuu_

"DAMN YOU, HAKURYUUUUU!"

* * *

*In case you can't tell, Hakuei's chocolates turned Sinbad into a woman.

Joke's on you, Judal; your prank backfired.

I'm thinking of maybe writing an April Fool's Day drabble. The only problem is that I don't have an idea of what to write. If you guys have an idea you want me to write about, leave it in the review.

Until next time!


	10. Judal's Revenge!

This is basically a sequel to _Judal's Peaches_ (and, to a certain extension, _Happy Valentine's Day, Judal!_ ).

Enjoy!

I don't own Pat Benatar's "Hit ME With Your Best Shot", by the way.

(Due to a request of a guest, this chapter also includes Fem!Sinbad. Hope you like him-er, _her_!)

* * *

It's not a secret that Judal hated Ren Kouen.

Now, you might find this weird given how well Judal got along with the other Ren siblings.

He hated Ren Kouen with a passion that surpassed even his love for peaches.

Which is why it was no surprise when he started plotting revenge against Kouen.

* * *

"That darn Kouen," Judal grumbled. "Who does he think he is, anyway? Some sort of big shot in the world?"

Just so you know, the reason Judal was mad at Kouen this time was because Kouen had eaten the last of his peaches without permission.

Now, as anyone knows, it is practically suicidal to steal Judal's peaches, much less eat them. Judal is really fond of his peaches, and he doesn't take lightly to anyone taking his peaches without permission. So nobody was foolish enough to do so.

Except, apparently, Ren Kouen, the bane of his existence. (Never mind the fact he was hungry at the time-it was no excuse!)

"Kouen thinks he can mess with my peaches and get away scot-free? Well, he can think again!" if there was one thought in Judal's mind now, it was this: _war_.

But how to do so? Because it wasn't like he held some scandalous secret over Kouen, it wasn't like one would just conveniently resurface from his memories in his head…

"Wait! That's it! I do have dirt on him! His secret password! I'll use it against him!" Judal triumphantly cackled.

"Just you wait, Ren Kouen-by the end of this day, you'll have regret messing with me!"

* * *

"Oi, stupid king, help me out a little, would you?"

Now, for Judal to enact his revenge plan, he was gonna need help. So he turned to the first person he could think of-Sinbad. (Who, by the way, was still a woman.)

"With what, exactly, may I ask?" Sinbad-no, wait, maybe we should call him (her) Sinko for now-looked irritated.

"Why, with my revenge plans on Ren Kouen, of course!"

Sinb- _Sinko_ looked thoughtful. "What's in it for me?" he-sorry, _she_ -asked.

"Whatever you desire-as long as it's within my power!' Judal arrogantly declared.

"Will you turn me back to normal if I do? Like, turn me back into a man?" (What? He loved being a man.)

"Yeah!" (Note: he was lying, he didn't mean it.)

"Then it's a deal!"

* * *

"Pst! Koumei!"

Koumei turned around, looking bored. "Yes, how can I-" his eyes widened perceptively. "Sinbad, is that you?"

"Shhh!" Sinbad-sorry, _Sinko_ -hissed. "Don't tell anyone about this, you hear me!" he-sorry, _she_ , dang, this is confusing!-said.

Koumei nodded slightly. "Um, sure. Is there, uh, something you need my assistance for?"

"Not me!" Sinko said. "But Judal has something he wants to tell you later."

Koumei lifted his fan away from his mouth. "What on earth would Judal want to show me that he can't say himself? And how do I know it's not a trap?"

"He said it'll help you get back at your brother for all those years he interrupted your naps and tormented you with the old men."

Koumei paused slightly. And then he smiled. "Tell him I'll be there in 10 minutes."

What could he say? The offer was too sweet to refuse. (Really, Kouen, you should have seen this coming.)

* * *

"Hey! Fluff ball!"

No answer.

"Midget!"

Still no answer.

Judal took a deep breath. "KOUHA!"

"That's my name." the door opened, and Klouha stuck his head out. "What do you want, Judal?'

"To offer you a deal." Oh, no, he was sporting a wolfish grin now.

Kouha narrowed his eyes. "The last time you offered me a "deal", you caused me to steal 10 crates of peaches from the supermarket, and 5 pairs of black jeans."

"Sheesh, do I still have to keep apologizing about that?"

"En-nii grounded me for an entire two months for that! Do you know what happens to my beautiful hair and even more beautiful skin when I'm not let out-"

"I can help you get revenge," Judal interrupted him.

Kouha froze, his mouth partially still open. "What?"

"I can help you get revenge on your own brother for that," Judal continued. "The secret is inside his computer."

Kouha's eyes glinted. "When do we begin?"

(Nothing spells revenge for Kouha like matted hair and marred skin.)

* * *

"Hello, Miss Kougyoku!"

Kougyoku turned around. "Who is it-?" She backed away in shock as she took in the sight in front of her. "What-? Lord Sinbad, is that you?!"

"Shhh! Don't say that out loud!" Sinko, formerly Sinbad, hushed Kougyoku by covering her mouth with her hand. "I can't have anyone else see me like this, you hear?"

Kougyoku nodded, her eyes still on the verge of popping out of her eye sockets at the sight of seeing her former love interest looking like a _bona-fide woman_.

"Right. Now that you understand that…" Sinko lowered her hand from Kougyoku's mouth. "I need you to meet up with Judal."

"Judal-chan? What for?" Kougyoku asked curiously.

"That's not important, what's important is that you go meet up with him right away!" There was a slight hint of desperation and hysteria in her voice.

Kougyoku hesitated, then immediately departed.

 _Forgive me, Kougyoku, but I really want my manly body back._

* * *

"Hey, Hakuei! Hakuryuu!"

Both people turn around at the sound of Judal's voice. "Yes? What do you want, Judal?" Hakuryuu asked in an irritated voice.

Hakuei was less rude. "Do you need us for something, Judal?"

"why, yes, as a matter of fact, I do!" Judal was positively beaming. "I need to show you two something. It's got something to do with you, Hakuei."

"With my sister? What is it?" Hakuryuu was wary. He had a feeling he wouldn't like the answer-

"It's got something to do with your cousin, Kouen!"

-and he was right.

* * *

Judal's plan? Ruin Kouen's reputation in front of his family-and a certain lady. (cough _Hakuei_ cough)

Too bad his plan was going to hit a major block road.

* * *

Judal stood in front of the little gathering in Kouen's room.

By gathering, he meant three of Kouen's siblings (Koumei, Kouha, and Kougyoku) and two of his cousins (Hakuryuu and Hakuei).

He was visibly smirking now. "Well, I supposed you're all wondering why you're here, right?"

Nobody said anything. Everyone-and I _mean_ everyone-glared pointedly at Judal to cut the small talk and get down to business.

"Right, right-so. Recently, I've discovered something very interesting while I was browsing through Kouen's computer."

"You browsed through En-nii's computer?!" Kouha's outraged voice broke through. Koumei shushed him. (Where's your sense of loyalty, Kouha?)

Judal ignored Kouha. "So, it turns out your brother's computer is password protected." (Duh. Isn't everyone's computer password protected?)

Hakuryuu's face began to pale as he realized the implication behind Judal's statement.

Judal took a deep breath.

"Hey, everyone! Guess what? Kouen's password is-"

"What are you doing in my room, Judal?"

Ren Kouen had arrived in time for the party.

* * *

"Why," Judal feigned innocence, "I'm just telling everyone here what your password to your computer is." He turned back to the others. "By the way, it's a six letter word with three syllables and begins with Haku."

It didn't take a genius to figure out the password. Naturally, Hakuryuu was the first to figure it out.

"You used _my sister's name_ as _your password_?!" An outraged Hakuryuu cried out. _"Why you-!"_

Kouen did not bat an eye. "Don't be ridiculous, Hakuryuu, I'm not stupid enough to do that."

Koumei blinked in concern. "Are you telling the truth, Brother En?" he had a right to be worried, this was Hakuryuu's sister, after all. (Look, Hakuryuu had his hands curled up in order to-wait, kids are reading this.)

"Yes. If you want proof, I'll show you what my actual password is." Kouen bent down and tapped the keyboard and his password box showed up. Then he uploaded a video.

Judal lost his smug grin and his jaw dropped when he caught sight of the video.

Kougyoku looked horrified. Koumei held his deadpan expression. Kouha watched with sadistic relish.

What was the video, you ask? Well, here's the answer:

 _A dance video of a drunk Judal to the beat of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot."_

Kougyoku looked horrified at the video. Koumei held his deadpan expression. Kouha watched the video with sadistic relish. Hakuei had already left while Hakuryuu continued arguing with Kouen.

As for Judal? Well, here's his reaction:

"DAMN YOU, REN KOUEEEEEEENNNNNN!"

* * *

Bonus:

Sinbad-sorry, _Sinko_ -stood in front of Judal's house impatiently tapping his feet.

"C'mon, Judal. Any day now." He- _she_ -grumbled. "You better change me back to normal before-"

"Sin? Is that you?"

Sinko froze in horror. Her head slowly creaked until they met a pair of onyx eyes on a pale, freckled face. "J-J-J- _Jafar?!_ "

Jafr kept staring at Sinko. "Sinbad, all this time-you were actually a woman? Wow, I never knew." He shook his head. "I have to tell the others."

"Wait, Jafar! It's not what you think! It's not! Wait! Come back!"

"JAFAAAAAAARRRRRR!"

* * *

Do you guys laugh while you were reading this? Did you?

I know I did (while writing this).

Well, it's late, so I'm going to sleep ow. Oh, by the way, I'm thinking of making a spin-off on this series based on

either Jafar or Fem!Sinbad (AKA Sinko). If you guys are interested in either one, please vote on the poll on my

profile page.

Until next time!


	11. Judal Gets His Teeth Removed

Getting your teeth removed is so painful...and yet oddly inspiring!

Hope you enjoy this impromptu drabble!

* * *

Wisdom teeth. What were they? The symbol of adulthood.

Sure, you can only have them once in a lifetime, but that shows that you're growing.

I mean, yeah, it hurts when they first start popping up, but then the pain subsides and you grow to be really proud of your teeth.

Until that day arrives. You know, that day when you have to remove your wisdom teeth.

Man, Judal, are you in for a lot of pain…

…and hilarity, of course.

* * *

"Judal, you need to get your teeth removed." Gyokuen announced out of the blue one day.

"What!" Judal looked up from his video game. "No way! I refuse!" He stuck out his lower lip in defiance.

"You can't refuse, I've already made an appointment." Gyokuen wasn't taking no for an answer.

"I'm not going." Judal wasn't budging…yet.  
"You need to…or you won't be able to eat peaches anymore." There, that got his attention.

"WHAT?! Fine, I'll go!"

"perfect." Gyokuen was pleased. "Now pack your bags, the appointment's scheduled for tomorrow."

"What?! TOMORROW?!"

* * *

"All right, Judal, this won't take but an hour." The dentist-who suspiciously looked a lot like a certain Sphintus Carmen, held up a long syringe. "Before you know it, you'll be out of here in no time." He adjusted the light. "But first, we have to make sure the pain doesn't get to you."

"What do you mean, "You have to make sure the pain doesn't get to me"?" Judal asked suspiciously while reclining on the dentist's chair.

"It means we're gonna knock you out." Sphintus explains and then it becomes clear to Judal what the needle is for.

"Oh, heck, no, get that thing away from me!" Judal tried to scramble back, but unfortunately for him, Dr. Sphintus's assistant, Marga held him down. "I hate needles! This isn't tooth extraction at all, is it? You're going to me, aren't you? I knew Gyokuen was up to something! Was this all Kouen's plan?! I swear, that guy's has something against me-"

"Relax, Judal." Dr. Sphintus forcefully pried open Judal's mouth. "Trust me, you'll be fine. This is for your own good. Now, sweet dreams."

"MMMfffpp-"

* * *

Judal opened his eyes only to greet complete darkness.

"Hm? Did they finish the operation?" Confused, he got up from the reclining seat, and walked around. "I don't get. Why's it so dark? Whatever, I should just leave-"

"AND A-ONE, AND A-TWO, AND A-THREE, LET'S ROCK!"

Judal spun around as a light suddenly shone on what used to be an empty black space. His mouth dropped at what he saw.

Peaches! They were dancing! Well, one of them was actually singing-the others were dancing. (Perhaps they were groupies?)

The lead singing peach (who looks suspiciously like Kouen) adjusted his sunglasses before he continued to belt out a tune in a smooth, rich, baritone voice. The other dancing peaches kept swinging their hips (wait, do peaches even have hips?) and strutted about.

Judal continued staring at them, his jaw wide opened. Then his eyes started shining and he began licking his lips.

"Come here, peachy, peachy, peachy." He cooed at the peaches. "Come to Papa. Let Papa eat you up."

Poor peaches. They never saw it coming.

* * *

"See, Judal." Dr. Sphintus Carmen leaned back from his patient who was groggily stirring about. "I told you it would be over before you knew it. You were a really good patient. Good boy."

Judal blearily blinked at Sphintus as he mumbled something.

"Hmm? Did you say something?"

Judal licked his lips as he repeated, "I-I see it. I see the light! I see it!"

"Of course you do." Sphintus glanced over at Marga. "You got this on tape, right?"

Marga gave a thumbs-up at him.

* * *

Bonus:

"Man, when will this stupid swelling go done? I want my beautiful face back. Hey, Kouha, what's that you…got…there…"

"Guess what Gyokuen showed us this morning, Judal?"

 _-CLICK!-_

" _I-I see it. I see the light! I see it!"_

"STOP IT! GET RID OF THAT THING! DAMN IT, KOUHA! STOOOOOOPPPPP!"

* * *

I've heard tales of when people go crazy from the gas when they need their teeth removed, but oddly enough, that's never happened to me. (And I had my teeth removed twice!)

Sorry about the lack of updates, but I've been pretty tired and lazy lately (not to mention writer and art-block). But I'm on school break now, so I'll probably have a new chapter up by the end of the week...hopefully.

Until next time, guys!


	12. Princess Judal

Why am I posting this now? Probably because I got spooked by a cockaroach thhat I was hesitant to kill. (My brother killed it, by the way.)

So to calm my nerves so that I can sleep, I'm posting this today.

Enjoy!

* * *

Once upon a time, there lived a young beautiful innocent princess who lived peacefully among her citizens-

"Hey! That's not how it goes! Do it again!"

…fine. Once upon a time, there lived a fearsome, powerful, you-don't want-to-mess-her-and-die princess who had mad wicked magic and killed anyone who dared to disturb his peaches. Happy now?

"You bet! Now continue!"

One day, the princess realized that his-wait, shouldn't it be a her?

"I'm the main character! Not you! So if I say I'm a boy, then I'm a boy!"

…the princess realized that his peach trees were dying. Furious, the princess-

"Hey! Don't ignore me!"

Look, do you want me to continue the story or not?

"…please go ahead."

Thank you. Now, as I was saying, the princess realized his peaches were dying. Furious, he decided that someone had to pay the price of destroying his peaches-wait, _destroying_?

"My peaches don't jest die without any reason, someone has to be killing them!"

Aren't we being a little extreme here?

"My peaches deserve justice! Someone must pay!"

…suuuure. Anyway, the princess ordered his guards to summon every boy wearing a braid in the kingdom, from ages eight to eighteen to his castle at exactly sunrise at dawn in the next day.

* * *

The next day, approximately 100 of the boys fitting the description showed up. Once they did, Princess Judal ordered the ones who were non-magicians to leave. Magicians were to stay behind.

Three magicians were left behind as a result.

One was a child, with dark blue hair and an innocent smile.

Another was a tall, lean man, with dull blond hair, and a mysterious aura.

The last magician was a young girl. Like the tall man, she had blond hair, only thicker and more luxurious. Her eyes were closed ad she bore a frown on her face.

"Now, then." Princess Judal strode in front of the three magicians. "One of you three magis caused my beloved peaches to die." He stopped in front of the blue-haired boy. "And you're going to fix it!" he jabbed his finger at the boy.

"Me?" Aladdin looked confused. "Why me, your Majesty?"

"Because I said so, that's why!"

Childish, aren't you, Judal?

"Pft, as if! The main character is never childish! That's a rule!"

Cough _Butyouareachild_ Cough.

"What was that?!"

I said, as you wish, your majesty!

Judal huffed. All of the three magis looked at him weirdly, for they saw him talking to nothing but thin air.

"Anyway, like I said, you're going to fix this problem, Aladdin! You caused my peaches to die! You're going to pay for it!"

Aladdin tilted his head to the side. "Pardon me, your majesty, but how exactly do you know my name? And are you sure your peaches did not die from old age?"

"I know your name because I am that awesome, that's why! And my peaches don't die for no reason, because they are my peaches! Mine!" he jutted his nose into the air.

"Okaaayyyy…" Aladdin decided not to tell the princess that he seemed a little crazy in the head. I agree, Aladdin, dear Judal is a bit mad in the head.

"What was that?!"

Aladdin blinked. "Your majesty, I didn't say anything."

"Not you! YOU!" Princess Judal jabbed an accusing finger into the sky.

Aladdin looked confused. "Who?"

"The stupid Narrator! I swear, one of these days, I'm going to kill him! Her! Whatever!"

That'll never happen, Judal. Besides, shouldn't you be worrying about your beloved peaches? Don't you want them to be saved?

"I do! So I'll deal with you later!" He turned to f ace Aladdin.

"I don't care how you do, just save my peaches! That's an order! A quest!"

Aladdin shifted uncomfortably. "A quest? Um, can I turn down this-"

"Go!" And Judal kicked Aladdin into the air, causing him to blast off to space.

* * *

And so Aladdin's quest to save Princess Judal's peaches has begun. Poor kid.

"There's nothing poor about him, he deserved this!"

Riiiight.

"He does!"

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED...

* * *

Bonus:

"Hey, Sche-chan? Did Judal and Narrator-chan forget about us or something?"

Scheherazade glanced at Yunan. "Not very likely. We're probably not relevant to the plot yet, that's all."

You got that right, Sche-chan! Besides, you two are _way_ more important than Judal!

"What was that!"

Nothing, your majesty, I said nothing.

* * *

Until next time!

Don't forget to review.


	13. Judal Gets His Teeth Removed Part II

Hey, guys, sorry for the lack of updates lately.

My computer's power fuse broke down shortly after my last update to my stories, and it hasn't been fixed yet (don't know if it ever will.) So I've been using a laptop instead lately, and to be honest, I'm not really good with laptops at all.

Plus, I went on a five-day trip to Canada shortly after my computer bustted on me and since then, I've been feeling like I'm on vacation mode. Weird, huh?

Also, I've started college lately, and I still have yet to get used to the dynamics. So, all in all, updates will probably be slow.

But don't worry! I've got plenty of ideas for my stories and I'll publish then when I can! (Just not anytime soon.)

But for now, enjoy the drabble!

* * *

"Judal, you need to get your teeth removed again."

Such a casual, innocent sentence uttered by 49-year-old Ren Gyokuen sent our young protagonist into a frenzy of panic and terror.

"WHAT?!" Judal scrambled back onto his his chair. "Why? I don't want to!" He whined childishly.

"Because, Judal, everyone in the world must get at least two of their wisdom teeth removed when they become of age," Gyokuen patiently explained. "Or else heir teeth would be filed with endless pain and they won't be able to eat anything. Like peaches," she added.

"What! But I still don't want to gooooo!" Man, could Judal _whine_.

"Well, unless you don't want to eat peaches ever again..."

"I'll go!" Boy, did Judal change his mind _fast_.

"Good. The appointment is tomorrow."

"WHAT?!"

* * *

"Well, well, Mr. Judal, we meet again."

Dr. Sphintus Carmen closed his folder with a _Snap!_ sound. "I must say, I never thought I would see you again."

"Neither did I," Judal sneered back. "You made my face swell for twelve days! _Twelve days!_ "

Sphintus shrugged. "What an I say-no pain, no gain." He sighed. "Well, you know the procedure. Lean back against the chair with your head down. Marga," he gestured, "the needle."

All hell broke loose. " _Ohnonononononoooooo_!" Judal screamed. "No needles! My face won't survive! No needles! No-"

Judal fell into a sea of darkness as a familiar sting jabbed itself into his beautiful (albeit obnoxious) face.

* * *

 _Blink. Blink._

Judal woke up...into a sea of darkness.

"Damn it. That really hurt this time. Did they finish already? They better have, I want my beloved peaches already."

Judal kept grumbling as he got up and pulled the switch to a lamp that mysteriously appeared out of nowhere.

And came face to face with...

" _Ren Kouen_? What the heck are you doing here?"

"Who is Kouen? I know no Kouen."

Okay, he was definitely paying a joke on him. "Yeah, right. Listen, Kouen, I don't care what your problem is, but why don't you get out of my-"

"I am not this Kouen." Seriously, who was he fooling? "I am your conscious-the _good_ one." Say what?!

"You? My good conscious?" Judal started laughing. "HA! Yeah right, that's like saying the old hag's my mother! What do you want?"

"I am here..." (Cue dramatic pause) "...to tell you that you have to stop eating peaches."

What the HECK was he saying?! "HECK NO! Why on EARTH would you ever ask me to-"

"No, don't listen to him, Judal!" What the hey?

" _Gyokuen_?"

"That's not Gyokuen. She is your other conscious-the _bad_ one."

And Ren Kouen was the _good conscious_?!

"Judal, listen to me," Okay, she had sounded exactly like the old hag, "peaches are good! They are the food of the gods! You must eat them!" She even had the same creepy grin!

"I don't need you to tell me that, old hag! And what the heck are you doing here-?"

Suddenly Kouen rushed at Gyokuen with a sword (where on earth did it come from?). "You will not sully his brain with lies anymore, witch!"

Cue evil grin from Gyokuen. "If it's a fight to the death you want, then you shall have it!" And she rushed at him with a sword of her own (seriously, where are al these swords coming from?).

With Judal in the between the two. "H-hey! Stop! Not here!"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH...!"

* * *

"Rise and shine, Judal!" Sphintus smiled down at Judal's puffed up face (it was puffier than last time). "Your operation is over."

"Good!" Judal pouted. Excep with his puffy face, it sounded like "Gaud!"

"So, anyway, I got some news for you. You want to hear the good news first or the bad news?"

"Gaud, d'of cork!" (Translation: "Good, of course!")

"The good news-your teeth is now completely healthy."

"Yeck!" (Translation: "Yes!")

"The bad news-you can't eat peaches for a month until you completely recover."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT!?" (Translation:...well, you already know what it is. :D)

* * *

Until next time guys! (Hopefully sometime very soon.)

And don't forget to review!


	14. Judal's Peach Doll

Happy Halloween everyone! Here's the newest addition to _THE Misadventures with Judal!_

Enjoy!

* * *

Once upon a time, there lived a young boy by the name of Judal.

Judal was a small boy with long black hair, lots of riches, and bad attitude.

Now Judal had a favorite doll, whom he affectionately named "peach doll." Peach Doll was small, pink and, well, shaped like a peach with a big smile on it.

From the moment Judal got Peach Doll, he was immediately in love with it and the two were inseparable.

One day, Judal was extremely hungry. He had enough money to buy some food, but he was too lazy to do so. He was so lazy, he simply sat outside, continually moaning about his great hunger. That was when his eyes landed on the peach tree.

Now this peach tree was considered sacred to the people in the community. Nobody knew why, but everyone was forbidden to approach the tree, much less each its peaches.

Now peaches happened to be Judal's favorite treat. Being as hungry as he was, Judal did not remember the unwritten rue. So he reached up and plucked one of the peaches.

Judal had broken the taboo of eating the peaches. In his great hunger, he ate not one, not two, but _three_ peaches. And he kept eating.

Soon he had devoured all but one peach. The tree was almost bare.

Judal held up the last peach in front of his eyes. "At last...you are now all mine..!" He opened his mouth to take a big bite when...

 **"STOP!"**

A deep voice commanded. JUdal paused and glanced arouund, seeing noone nearby. With a shrug, he went back to eating his peach.

 **"I said stop!"** The voice came from downwards. Judal glanced down at where the vocice came from only for his eyyes to land on...

"PEACH DOLL?!"

 **"DON"T CALL ME THAT!"** Peach Doll roared. Suddenly he grew. He grew and grew and grew until he was the size of a giant peach. HE towered over JUdal, he was now the size of a quivering ant to the peach.

 **"I am the great Guardian of peaches. Once I was a peach myself...until I was cursed by a witch to stay in this accursed form."**

He glared down at Judal. JUdal started shivering.

 **"Wh-what do you want with me?"**

 **"What do I want with you? I think that is pretty obvious."**

 **"You have broken the taboo of eating peaches. You have sinned against heaven itself!"**

 **"Now, as revenge for eating all my fellow peaches...I shall eat YOU!"**

His mouth opened into a large cavern that proceeded to swallow Judal.

"Aaaaaaa..."

* * *

"...aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"

Judal shot back up and screamed.

"Judal! What on earth happened?" Gyokuen rushed into the room.

Judal glanced around his bed in a frenzy. "Phew...it was only a dream." HE paused, and sounded much mire indignant.

"Of course it was a dream! No stupid doll shall get the better of me!"

Gyokuen blinked. "I have no idea what just happened, but I guess it was just a dream."

"Of course it was, old hag!"

"Don't call me that, JUdal." A vein popped near Gyokue's temples. "And to think I got you a gift."

"Really? What kind a gift? A peach?" Oh, he doesn't learn.

"No. Something even better." And Gyokuen pulled out something from behind her.

"Here look what I got you!"

It was small, pink and shaped like a peach with a big smile on it.

"I call it Peach Doll!"

* * *

See you all next time! Hopefully I'll have more updates available by then.

Don't forget to review!


	15. Princess Judal Part II

Here is the next installment in the Princess Judal Arc!

Enjoy!

* * *

When we last left off, we saw our great hero, Aladdin, get kicked-sorry, get blasted off to space by Princess Judal, may all who hear his name tremble in fear.

Now, we see our great hero in the Great Desert, where we spot him amidst the sand...

...lying almost half-dead from starvation and dehydration. For Heaven's Sake, he looked ready to pass into the afterlife!

"Ha, serves him right!"

Judal, what on earth are you doing here? You're not even supposed to be in this portion of the story!

"I am the protagonist of this story, not that brat! I can do whatever I want, even be in this chapter!"

That's impossible, Judal. The power of the Narrator surpasses even the power of the protagonist. It's the universal rule. Now by the use of that very power, I do hereby banish you from this chapter until towards the end. Starting now.

"Wait, what! No, wait, stop-!"

...

Well, now that he's gone, we can go back. Anyway, like I was saying, poor old Aladdin was lying half-dead in the sand, ready to pass into the afterlife. In fact, he was just about to do give up and die right then and there when...

"Oi! Hey, you there!"

Aladdin twitched.

"Yes, I'm talking to you, the one with the braid! Are you alive? You aren't dead are you?"

Aladdin lifted his head up weakly. And the first thing he saw was..."Food! WATERMELON!"

* * *

 _CHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMP-CHOMP!_

"Hey, kid, slow down. Or else you'll choke!"

Aladdin payed no attention to this, too engrossed with eating the precious morsel before him as fast as he could. Seriously, Aladdin, the food's not going anywhere, so you could slow down a little or so.

Finally, Aladdin finished gorging himself out. Turning to thank his savior, he smiled. "Hi, mister! I'm Aladdin! Thank you for the meal!"

"Um, sure." The young blond man could only blink at the speed that Aladdin finished his meal at. "Finishing stuffing your face,eh? With all the watermelon I bought at the market," he muttered under his breath.

Aladdin tilted his ead. "Say, mister, who are you? What are you doing here?"

"That's what I should be asking you! But I'm glad you asked!" He rubbed his nose.

"I am... the most wanted man in the whole universe."

"I am...the feared person in the entire history of bandits."

"I am...The _Great_ Alibaba-Prince of the Desert!" He waited expectantly.

"Sorry, mister-that name doesn't ring a bell."

Alibaba looked offended.

"How do you not know me?! I'm practically famous all around the world! All the guys want to be me and the ladies swoon before me, practically begging to kiss me!"

Uh, Alibaba, I wouldn't go to far. All the other Au fanfics on this site seem to think otherwise.

/Alibaba blinked and looked around. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Nothing. I could have sworn..." Alibaba shook his head. " Anyhow, you must be very ignorant if you don't know me. But enough about me. What about you?"

And so Aladdin explained his situation to the Great Prince Alibaba, who stroked his chin while he listened.

"Princess Judal, eh? I bet she's a real beauty."

"Princess Judal is a boy."

Alibaba looked horrified. "Why do they call him 'princess', then?"

Aladdin shrugged. "No idea, it's just how it is." "Right... so, you plan on getting this job done all by yourself?" Alibaba said disbelievingly.

"It's not like I have a choice... he'll do something terrible to me otherwise!" I wouldn't go to far, Aladdin. JUDAL wouldn't... actually, no, wait, he _would_ do something terrible.

Alibaba jumped up. "Wait, you can't go alone! The mysterious voice is telling me something bad will happen if you fail!"

"You're going to need some help, so I guess I have no choice but to accompany you!"

"Wow, gee, thanks, mister!" Aladdin beamed brighter than rain at that moment

"No problem. Besides, I bet this Princess Judal isn't that great anyway."

* * *

"ACHOO!"

Judal rubbed his nose angrily.

"Hm, I bet someone was just talking about me! Isn't that right, stupid Narrator?"

Sorry, Judal, but I can't just tell you what happened, that'd be breaking the rules.

"Forget the rules, you should tell me! It's a command!"

Oh, yeah? Then here's _my_ command. By the power of the Narrator, I do hereby end this chapter until the next time we meet.

"No, wait, no-!"


	16. Judal and Pirates

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Here's the last pit of fiction I'm doing for 2016!

Inspired by Popmania. She gave me the idea: " How about Judar/Judal has a run in with pirates. They try and steal his peaches, something like that."

Enjoy!

* * *

"Okay, guys, I think it's official-we're lost.'

Three wannabee pirates stopped in the middle of the desert. The man in the middle was blonde and stocky, with wavy hair. The man on the left, on the other hand, was fat and balding, with a trim mustache. And finally, the man on the right was small, tan, and carrying a hook.

He was also the one who just spoke.

"Mr. Small, how on earth do you know we are lost? For all we know, there might be a town nearby," said the fat one.

"Mr. Big is right. There might be help nearby," said the stocky one, who agreed with every thing Mr. Big said.

"In the middle of nowhere? Where there are pirates like,oh I don't know, _us_?" Mr. Small deadpanned.

He had a very good point. "But then what are we supposed to do? We haven't stolen anything yet and we're out of money! What do you expect us to do now?" asked Mr. Big.

"What he said." Mr. Stocky agreed.

"Hey, look! It's a man." He was asleep.

And alone. And unarmed.

The three robbers suddenly shared the same eerie grin. It was clear they were all in sync in their thoughts.

"On count of three...one... two... three...!"

They all lunged at him as one...

"OK. Keep it down. I'm trying to sleep."

.. and immediately froze. Seems like he wasn't asleep after all.

The mystery man grunted and opened his eyes. His bloody red, concentric eyes

"Yknow what? I can't sleep anymore anyway. Not through all this noise." He casually yawned.

The trio watched, mesmerized. It was like watching a cat yawn right before it decided to play with a toy.

"Now then..." The man stopped yawning and stared straight into their souls.

" Which one of you interrupted my nap?"

* * *

"It was him!"

All three pointed at each other.

"Hey, traitors!" They immediately began bickering.

"Hey, cut the racket! You're hurting my ears!" Mystery man shoved a fiver into his right ear.

All three immediately shut up.

"Who are you anyway?" Well, almost all three.

Mr. Small had had a bad day.

He had lost the map he had been carrying to travel in the desert.

He had not eaten anything at all for the past two days.

He hadn't even gotten any sleep in the past 24 hours!

And worse of all, he hadn't manages to obtain any treasure from the caravans that had been passing by (he was too weak to)!

And now this _man_ who was supposed to be at their mercy was now acting like a high-and-mighty boss?

Unfortunately, Mr. Small had no idea what he was getting into. He had picked a fight with one of the worst people in the world and he was about to learn.

He certainly had a death wish.

The mystery man smirked " I'm glad you asked."

"I...am the most powerful magician in the world."

"I am...the most feared man in the universe!"

"I am...the Great Magi of Kou!"

"JUDAL!"

He pointed his stick triumphantly (dramatically, if I must say) up towards the sky.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...who?"

"Sorry, but the name doesn't ring a bell."

"Yeah, I've never heard of you before."

"Whaaaaat?" A vein popped into Judal's head. "How can that be-I'm famous! You should all be bowing down to me!"

"No offense, but how great can you be?" Mr. Big asked. Mr. Stocky nodded in agreement.

Judal scoffed. "Just look at my magnificent hair, you peasants! It is a symbol of my greatness! Aside from peaches, that is!"

And that's when Mr. Small, against his better judgement, snapped and lost his temper. "Hair doesn't make you great, stupid! Especially if it's ugly and long!"so great about peaches anyway? They're nothing more than overripe fruit not worth eating!"

"Besides, what's

chirp...

chirp...

chirp...

"..."

"..."

"..."

"RAMZ AL-SALOS!"

* * *

If there was anything these three pirates learned today, it were these two things:

Never insult a man's hair and peaches.

And never pick a fight with Judal, magi of Kou Empire.

* * *

See you all in 2017!

P.S.: Don't forget to review!


	17. Judal has a date!

"Did you hear? Judal has a date!"

Such innocent piece of news spouted from a certain tiny blue magician immediately created utter chaos.

Jafar spouted out his drink and shouted, "WHAT?!" and started pulling his hair out, tuft by tuft.

Sinbad paled and fainted dead away.

Sharrkan went, "oh, wow, didn't see that coming," and stroked his chin.

Kouen said, "hmm," picked up a book and threw it at Koumei, who immediately glared at him when said book made contact with his left shoulder.

Yamraiha spilled her latest experiment onto Pisti and Spartos, turning them into Papagora Birds that immediately flew away the moment Alibaba laid his eyes on them. "Oh, I'm sorry!"

And Kouha? He was rubbing his hands gleefully, snickering, "Oh, boy, it's the end of the world!" (Weird, much?)

Sinbad woke up, screamed, and demanded, "Masrur, this is a dream, right?Tell me this is a dream!"

"This isn't a dream, Sin." To prove this, Masrur punched Sin in the face, knocking him out again.

"Masrur, that was totally unnecessary," said Jafar, who was currently rubbing his head. "Knocking out Sin does not prove anything."

"To the readers reading this silly piece of nonsensical fiction out there in the real world, it does. It proves that Sin is a male again and that this takes place after that other little fiction the author writing this has." (Yes, shameless advertisement Why not? XD)

"Yes, and it has nothing to do with writing as much nonsense as she can to stretch out this literature that she started and should have completed ages ago."

"The same can be said for the others stories she has."

"Both of you stop! You're not suppose too break the fourth wall!" Yamraiha tried to shush the quibbling pair.

"Oh, leave 'em alone, magic nerd. Should you be more worried about Alibaba? He just ran out the door looking for Pisti and Spartos."

Yamraiha shrieked in horror and ran out, calling out for "Alibaba, don't eat them! Pisti, Spartos, I'm so sorry!"

"More importantly, should we not discuss the fact that our Judal is apparently on a date right now? And while we are at it, Kouennii-sama, why did you throw a book at me?!" Koumei demanded.

Kouen deadpanned, "Just because." He was rewarded by a book thrown by his own brother. Hah, revenge!

Jagar rubbed his face in exasperation. "Nevermind that, we should focus on the real problem-Kouha. He's been screaming for the past eight minutes." He gestured at Kouha, who was still screaming,

"It's the end of the world!" ( Wait, where did the sword come from?)

"Forget him," Kouen dismissed. "He does this all the time."

Sharrkan frowned. "... really?"

"Yes."

"No way."

"Yes way."

"No way!"

" _No way!"_

 _"Yes way."_

 _"No. Way."_

 _"Yes. Way."_

"No-"

"All right, that's enough!" Koumei shouted. He pinched his noise and sighed. " Honestly, children are better than this."

"True," Jafar agreed. Then he looked at Masrur in confusion. "Masrur, is something wrong?"

"...did we forget something?"

Jafar blinked. "Not that I remember. Why?"

"I don't know, I just have this feeling."

* * *

"Ahchoo!"

Judal wiped his nose clean. "That's odd, is someone talking about me?" Then he shrugged. "Ah, who cares? After I got a date tonight." He turned to the bowl next to him and smiled innocently.

"A date with my lovely peaches." He purred.


	18. Judal Breaks into the Fourth Wall

Psst! Hey, it's me Judal, the great oracle of the Kou Empire!

You don't know who I am? How could you not; there's only one of me and none of you idiots in my world.

What? You still don't know who I am? All right, for those of you who don't know, go read _Magi,_ the greatest manga to ever grace the world with me as the main character! What do you mean that doesn't sound right? Of course it sounds right. And I'm not just saying that because I'm mad Magi is over and there aren't anymore parts for me to play! Oops, spoiler alert for those of you who haven't caught up yet. Why you haven't beats me, you should be glad to see the Awesome Judal in action!

Anyway, the Great Judal is here to grace you peasants with his amazing presence today. Be grateful that you have been blessed today by yours truly!

Bet you didn't see this coming, eh? Me breaking into the fourth wall to your universe? I'm the greatest magi in the world; there is nothing I can do!

…

…

…

Okay, all I did was break into Jankitty13's account. But hey! It's her fault she left her whatchamacallit ( _computer?_ ) open in the first place! It was divine justice that the Great Judal-sama saw this happening! And no, I didn't stalk her place just for an opportunity like this today. Nope, not at all.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell all you lazy peasants that Jan's (I refuse to call her Kitty, it's a stupid name) written some new chapters on _The Misadventures of Judal_ and she's going to post them real soon. (And her other stories, but who cares about them? _I'm_ the main character here!)

First up, it's me learning to use that device all you stupid Goi out there use. What's it called? _A_ _car_?

Hey, what's with those shocked looks on your face? Are you saying I can't learn?! What's that supposed to mean!

Ahem! _Then_ , we're back to the awesome Princess Judal series where everyone's the loser and I'm the winner saving the world!

What? What do you mean that sounds wrong? Are you challenging me, you loser?!

Whatever, it's not like I care. But now I'm not going to tell you anymore spoilers for upcoming content.

So there!

…

…

…

All right, all right, I'll tell you, but it's not because I'm very excited about what's going to happen and I want to tell someone as soon as I can. Nope, not at all.

What? Are you calling me a child?!

Pfft! As if I'm a child. Would a child punch a defenseless magi, steal a peach from the garden, and call silly princesses Old Hag in the first place?

What? You're saying they would? Yeah, well, that doesn't prove anything. I'm real mature, more mature that any of you out there. Hmph!

And just to show my maturity, I'm going to give you a preview fo-

* * *

 _The following has been cut off by Jankitty13's real-life counterpart, who immediately proceeded to delete the page and punish Judal when she came home and saw him abusing her computer without permission. Don't ask what she did to him._

 _Just don't._


	19. Judal Learns to Drive

Happy Halloween!

Have fun and be safe why trick-or-treating and be careful not to get a sugar rush, people!

* * *

"Hello! [Smiles winningly] You must be the newest applicant to apply for a license. Your name is…?"

"Isn't it obvious? [Smirks arrogantly] It's me, the mighty and only Judal-sama!"

"…ookaaaayy, Mr. Judal. [Drops the smile] Are you ready to get your license today-?"

"Of course! I'm going to pass this test! It's as easy as stealing candy from a baby!"

"…right. So, to pass the test, you must listen to what I say. That's the absolute rule. Got it?"

[Nods] "Got it."

"Good. Now, whenever you're ready-"

[Presses gas] _Vrooom!_

"What are you doing?! I haven't told you to start yet!"

"Huh? But you-"

"No! You go only when I tell you to go! Everything you do on this test, you do them only because I tell you to do them! Understand?"

"Tch! [Rolls his eyes] Whatever, let's get this stupid thing over with! My peaches are waiting for me. If I pass this, I get to eat as many as i want! The old hag said so."

[Dryly] "Someone's motivated."

"Shut up and get the damn thing started already."

"Why you…! _Ahem!_ [With great effort] Please start your engine."

"Okay." [Presses gas again] _Vroom!_

"Now please pull out slowly…"

[presses hard on gas] _Schreech!_

"I said _slowly_! Don't use so much gas at once! You could've crashed into that car!"

"Yeah, so what?"

"So you.." [Pinches forehead] Never mind. Please continue straight until you reach that stop sign. Remember to stop slowly and to stop twice-"

[Hits the brakes] _Schreech!  
_

"I said **slowly**! Do you even know what slowly means?!"

"Do you?!" [Doesn't really care]

[A vein is beginning to appear] "Now move forward slowly until the road is clear. Then turn right onto a one way."

"Sure." [Turns really fast]

 _Thwak!_ "Careful! Do it slowly next time, I could have hurt myself!"

[Waves dismissively] "Oh, shut up you're fine."

[Looks ready to snap] "No thanks to you! And I told you to turn into a one-way road! _Why are we on a two-way road?!_ We're not even on the correct lane!"

"Because I say so, that's why." [Arrogantly tosses his braid]

[Breathing heavily] "Please turn left and pull over."

"Why? Am I doing my parking? Or am I doing a U-turn?"

"Just do as I say!" [Vein is pulsing at temple]

"Tch!" [Turns right]

"I said turn _left_! Do you have ears in your brain at all?! We're not doing a U-turn, you idiot!" [Lost all sense of decorum]

"Like you can tell the mighty Judal-sama what to do! Besides, there was a cat! A black cat!"

"I don't care if there was a _dead_ cat, you are to listen to what I say, not what you think—Brake!"

"What?"

"BRAKE!"

 _Breeeek!_

 _Crash!_

 _"..."_

 _"..."_

 _"..."_

"…the hood is broken."

[Stone, cold calm] "Yes. It is."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…so how did I do? I passed, right?"

* * *

Bonus:

 _Due to a series of numerous dangerous actions, the driver cannot obtain his license today and requires more practice. He has failed to turn and brake properly and uses too much speed. The instructor has had to take control more than once. It has been highly recommended that the driver is banned forever from touching a car, but such beliefs have been dismissed immediately. the next time he takes the test will be..._

"Unfortunately, Judal once again failed to pass his driver's test for the tenth time in a row." [Giggles maliciously] "There goes those peaches he had planned to eat as a reward for passing. Kouen, would you like to do the honors?"

"Of course, Gyokuen." _Crunch!_ "Mmm, juicy."

(A faint cry of _"NOOOOOOOO!"_ can be heard in the background.)


End file.
